New Year, New Toddler.

‘(No) Sex in the Suburbs’


Well with Christmas over and most of the gang spending time with their families and pre-baby friends a couple of weeks have passed without our having met so our first meeting in January revealed such a change in the babies that it was difficult for us to look back on those fraught early days with a newborn baby with our now 6 month plus babies grabbing any small object in site, rolling and crawling around and babbling incessantly at our first encounter. You may recall my Alfie is the youngest of the set and he has just turned six months this week.


Our first meeting of 2009 was at the mother and toddler nursery rhymes session at Shenfield library (www.shenfield.org.uk). The library holds sessions on both Tuesday and Wednesday mornings at 10am. The sessions consist of a group-led nursery rhyme sing-along with various actions taught by the group leader, a member of the library staff. Brentwood library also holds a similar session on a Wednesday morning (http://www.brentwood.gov.uk/).


We were joined by a number of our fellow mums that we were fortunate enough to meet at Baby Yoga at the Brentwood Centre. Many of us had been attending the yoga sessions during our pregnancies and had continued with the well accomplished instructer Renate Mullins through the various post-natal mother and baby sessions. The Christmas break therefore meant a rather emotional farewell as the majority of us had determined to no longer continue largely on account of the fact that a number of us would be returning to work in some capacity and couldn't commit to a regular attendance (sessions are booked in blocks of 6 week terms) and also for many of us the statutory maternity riches are running thin so it is time to be a bit more frugel but mostly on account of the array of new opportunities available for our babies growing curiosities.


Yoga sessions cost in the region of 5-6 pounds per session details can be found at (www.brentwood-centre.co.uk) whereas the bookstart sessions at the libraries are free of charge. However the sessions are on a first come first served basis hence there is a limit to the number of babies that can be admitted once the class is full and they are often extremely crowded.


Although we are no longer continuing with baby yoga I wholehearted recommend the class. The pre-natal classes offer a fantastic opportunity for expectant mothers to maintain a certain level of fitness during pregancy with an instructor who is fully aware of your limits and there is much research to suggest that partcipation contributes to a calmer baby and in some cases a more relaxed labour (and lets face it we need all the help we can get!). The post-natal classes provide a unique combination of yoga for both the mothers benefit which was much welcomed when the prospect of getting to a gym was a mere fantasy and interaction and poses which aid bonding and assist the babies with problems such as colic. This combined with nursery rhymes to assist with stimulation and relaxation techniques for the mums made for an excellent class and with two young children of her own Renate is fully aware of the challenges facing new mums and the need for them to get some quiet time even if it is just for two minutes a week lying on the floor at the Brentwood Centre!


For me personally I might have continued with the sessions a little longer but the desperate need in the early weeks to get any excercise at all was greatly reduced once Alfie reached three months and was able to attend the creche at a number of local gyms. For those of you for whom getting back in shape is a priority we will be covering opportunities to excercise with the babies and local gyms with creches in greater detail next time.


I will always be grateful to Yoga however for the moment in those terrifying early weeks when you pray that your baby won't be the one to have a public meltdown when Sharon mother of James reminded me that deep down all mothers feel the same no matter how they choose to disguise it. The early yoga sessions when the babes were a mere number of weeks old were obviously fairly noisy and as one by one the babies would burst into song that age old tecnique (and believe me I'm the worst culprit) of mums making their comments for the benefit of the other mums by talking through the babies would roll out gems such as 'oh Joshua you don't do this at home but you've missed your morning nap today haven't you' and 'Simon you wouldn't be crying but you really do hate grey carpets don't you'. Cue James' Waa in the middle of the relaxation period and just before the third 'Ohm' and Sharon replies "oh Shut up James" giving us a laugh and reminding us that all babies cry and when it's our own most of us are thinking the same thing - we are only human afterall. Of course now we are all a bit more confident these exchanges are far more common!


The other factor for me was that as most new mums will know the attendance at such classes is as much about the opportunity for we mums to get out and socialise as it is about the activities themselves and hence I decided to go where the coffee was at, which brings us back to bookstart.
Following our rounds of the Grand Old Duke of York and If You're Happy and You Know It, we de-camped to Hollands in Shenfield for a much needed Lavattza and I have to say the buggy numbers are growing and yet the cheerful staff declined the opportunity to give us the evil eye as we barracaded the door with colourfully decorated car seats and pushchairs and were more than willing to roll out the hot water supplies.


Talk on this post Christmas Tuesday consisted of surviving the in-laws at Christmas and Juliet told us that a bad bug had meant that she had been unable to breastfeed Caroline for two days leaving Mick to step up to the role of chief carer which he did with accolades. As Caroline is now six months old Juliet decided to go cold turkey and give up completely. As a result, she proceeded to inform us, her boobs were absolutely inflamed hence she has resorted to round the clock savoy cabbage leaves in her bra which you will be pleased to hear apparently do the trick!



This anecdote did make me question why we news mums are not enjoying the fruits which led to the conception of our bouncing babies. Did Mick get duly rewarded in the tradional sense for rising to the challenge of caring for Caroline - or is the real question did he want to be? It seems we really need to make time to rekindle the romance in between the nappies and the leaky boobs so Juliet and I determined to look into local romantic bolt holes for an escape (not with one another clearly!) which Kevin and I will definitely be taking up this month so I will be sure to let you know what the area has to offer for escaping new parents. Well this Friday we are all off to Little Monkees at Hutton Community Centre (www.littlemonkees.com) followed by a much deserved evening out for the mums in the hostileries of Brentwood. One thing is certain you will be hearing about both in the next issue in the meantime as ever please email any great findings to share to tjewarren@googlemail.com – look forward to hearing from you!

Meet the gang.

Welcome to No Sex in the suburbs - a brand new column which will regularly be appearing here and in the Gazette. Allow me to introduce myself; I’m Tara Warren a new mum in Brentwood. I moved here specifically from the smoke to enjoy all the facilities that Brentwood has to offer for young families. The town as you well know is abound with new mums experimenting with the many classes and groups and winging it through the early months adjusting and learning along the way. I, like many other local new mums, joined an NCT (National Childcare Trust www.nct.org.uk) group and if you are awaiting a new arrival and have yet to do this I would strongly recommend you do the same. There are a number of branches local to the area and for me being new to the area as well as to motherhood this gaggle of worldly women have been my lifeline and support throughout those early months.

We meet regularly sharing our stories from the local activities we have tried and tested to the mistakes we have learned from to the impact on our relationships and it is these musings that I intend to share with you through this column. We also chat to other mums who enquire as to the best activities we are involved in and baby friendly venues we have discovered to go out to eat in and that’s when it occurred to me that it might be of interest to share some of our findings with all of you.

So, time to meet the gang. It’s Friday afternoon in the Slug and Lettuce we are all assembled to mark that all important milestone - the first mum in our gang, Amanda, returning to work. I enter with trepidation having always thought I would not be spending precious time with my newborn in bars and feel very self conscious pushing the bugaboo through the glass doors. Just as I begin telling myself that the Slug is not really a bar, more a lunch venue and that the smoking ban changes things I see three tables in the back of the bar wall to wall with buggies and two guys in the middle table sipping a pint and wondering if they have entered a parallel universe. At this moment I know that coffee mornings in Café Nero are no more and we are beginning a new chapter which a couple of months ago would seem like (in the words of Rhydian) the impossible dream. We will be going back over those early months and our discoveries for those of you who have yet to reach this stage so now might be a good time to mention that Nero is a great meeting venue and just as breast-feeding friendly as Starbucks who market themselves to include this premise provided you remember that St Thomas’ road is actually there. Café Belgique are also more than accommodating when eight pushchairs and the additional paraphernalia land upon them and the pastries and cakes are just phenomenal. But today it is back to the Slug where cakes are two for one on weekdays and if you ask any of the dads they would tell you this is all we new mums have to be concerned with.

Amanda’s return marks the end of an era for us as Natasha otherwise known as Tashpot was our first born seven months ago and hence we have all learnt a lot from both mother and daughter. Natasha was closely followed by Oscar our little toughie (but soft in the middle) and destined be the protector of my own Alfie, who at five months is the youngest of the gang, provided his mum Louise approves. Oscar was followed by Hannah’s daughter mischievous Mia, Donna's adorable Annabelle, Zahada’s Zen Zane, chilled out Jay son of Lucy and beautiful Caroline, daughter of Juliet. It is these characters you will be hearing much of during the coming weeks as well as other friends we have met at our various groups and classes which include massage, yoga and swimming to name but a few and it is their reviews which we will be sharing. I hope over the coming weeks as you get to know them you will find their views and tips useful.

The chat on this particular festive Friday included our plans for first Christmas presents which generally seemed to reveal plans for walkers, bouncers and rocking horses given the age of our little darlings although given that they don’t really understand (and lets face it there aren’t going to be many years that we can get away with that one) I have decided that Alf will benefit most from the activity surrounding the Christmas story given that he loves people and music. With this in mind I tell them I am most excited at the prospect of taking him to the children’s nativity mass which takes place on Christmas Eve at Brentwood Cathedral. This and the choir service at St Peter’s in the South Weald both seem to be appealing if you like me are the sentimental type. Donna mentioned that she had taken Annabelle to see Santa at Lakeside that very day and we were surprised to hear that at this young age she really enjoyed it. Donna had pre-booked which she said was definitely the way forward with a six month old to make sure Santa didn’t regret coming to work that day. The rest of us agreed that we would give Little Monkees (http://www.littlemonkees.com/) a try in Hutton where the bearded one was also set to appear. Littlemonkees appears to be a small locally based alternative to the more national offering of Tumbletots (http://www.tumbletots.com/) which also which also has a local branch which meets on Thursdays on Doddinghurst Road. Both offer an opportunity to experiment with soft play with babies 6 months and above and as between us we are set to sample both in the next week we will be sure let you know how we get on. Baby talk as usual was peppered with mum talk and this week it was Amanda’s revelation that at long last she was back in the arms of Barry and there is indeed some sex in the suburbs albeit not much. This news was welcomed by the group as her first attempt at a foray back into adult life with a meticulously planned dirty weekend had been marred by food poisoning – don’t worry we won’t be recommending that particular venue!

Next week we will be reviewing Christmas at Baby Yoga, the baby Christmas parties and ABC swimming classes as well as details of new groups commencing in January please email any great findings to share to tjewarren@googlemail.com – look forward to hearing from you!