Meet the gang.

Welcome to No Sex in the suburbs - a brand new column which will regularly be appearing here and in the Gazette. Allow me to introduce myself; I’m Tara Warren a new mum in Brentwood. I moved here specifically from the smoke to enjoy all the facilities that Brentwood has to offer for young families. The town as you well know is abound with new mums experimenting with the many classes and groups and winging it through the early months adjusting and learning along the way. I, like many other local new mums, joined an NCT (National Childcare Trust www.nct.org.uk) group and if you are awaiting a new arrival and have yet to do this I would strongly recommend you do the same. There are a number of branches local to the area and for me being new to the area as well as to motherhood this gaggle of worldly women have been my lifeline and support throughout those early months.

We meet regularly sharing our stories from the local activities we have tried and tested to the mistakes we have learned from to the impact on our relationships and it is these musings that I intend to share with you through this column. We also chat to other mums who enquire as to the best activities we are involved in and baby friendly venues we have discovered to go out to eat in and that’s when it occurred to me that it might be of interest to share some of our findings with all of you.

So, time to meet the gang. It’s Friday afternoon in the Slug and Lettuce we are all assembled to mark that all important milestone - the first mum in our gang, Amanda, returning to work. I enter with trepidation having always thought I would not be spending precious time with my newborn in bars and feel very self conscious pushing the bugaboo through the glass doors. Just as I begin telling myself that the Slug is not really a bar, more a lunch venue and that the smoking ban changes things I see three tables in the back of the bar wall to wall with buggies and two guys in the middle table sipping a pint and wondering if they have entered a parallel universe. At this moment I know that coffee mornings in Café Nero are no more and we are beginning a new chapter which a couple of months ago would seem like (in the words of Rhydian) the impossible dream. We will be going back over those early months and our discoveries for those of you who have yet to reach this stage so now might be a good time to mention that Nero is a great meeting venue and just as breast-feeding friendly as Starbucks who market themselves to include this premise provided you remember that St Thomas’ road is actually there. Café Belgique are also more than accommodating when eight pushchairs and the additional paraphernalia land upon them and the pastries and cakes are just phenomenal. But today it is back to the Slug where cakes are two for one on weekdays and if you ask any of the dads they would tell you this is all we new mums have to be concerned with.

Amanda’s return marks the end of an era for us as Natasha otherwise known as Tashpot was our first born seven months ago and hence we have all learnt a lot from both mother and daughter. Natasha was closely followed by Oscar our little toughie (but soft in the middle) and destined be the protector of my own Alfie, who at five months is the youngest of the gang, provided his mum Louise approves. Oscar was followed by Hannah’s daughter mischievous Mia, Donna's adorable Annabelle, Zahada’s Zen Zane, chilled out Jay son of Lucy and beautiful Caroline, daughter of Juliet. It is these characters you will be hearing much of during the coming weeks as well as other friends we have met at our various groups and classes which include massage, yoga and swimming to name but a few and it is their reviews which we will be sharing. I hope over the coming weeks as you get to know them you will find their views and tips useful.

The chat on this particular festive Friday included our plans for first Christmas presents which generally seemed to reveal plans for walkers, bouncers and rocking horses given the age of our little darlings although given that they don’t really understand (and lets face it there aren’t going to be many years that we can get away with that one) I have decided that Alf will benefit most from the activity surrounding the Christmas story given that he loves people and music. With this in mind I tell them I am most excited at the prospect of taking him to the children’s nativity mass which takes place on Christmas Eve at Brentwood Cathedral. This and the choir service at St Peter’s in the South Weald both seem to be appealing if you like me are the sentimental type. Donna mentioned that she had taken Annabelle to see Santa at Lakeside that very day and we were surprised to hear that at this young age she really enjoyed it. Donna had pre-booked which she said was definitely the way forward with a six month old to make sure Santa didn’t regret coming to work that day. The rest of us agreed that we would give Little Monkees (http://www.littlemonkees.com/) a try in Hutton where the bearded one was also set to appear. Littlemonkees appears to be a small locally based alternative to the more national offering of Tumbletots (http://www.tumbletots.com/) which also which also has a local branch which meets on Thursdays on Doddinghurst Road. Both offer an opportunity to experiment with soft play with babies 6 months and above and as between us we are set to sample both in the next week we will be sure let you know how we get on. Baby talk as usual was peppered with mum talk and this week it was Amanda’s revelation that at long last she was back in the arms of Barry and there is indeed some sex in the suburbs albeit not much. This news was welcomed by the group as her first attempt at a foray back into adult life with a meticulously planned dirty weekend had been marred by food poisoning – don’t worry we won’t be recommending that particular venue!

Next week we will be reviewing Christmas at Baby Yoga, the baby Christmas parties and ABC swimming classes as well as details of new groups commencing in January please email any great findings to share to tjewarren@googlemail.com – look forward to hearing from you!